As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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