We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
