he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
