I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize