yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
