Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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