He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were trust falling into bushes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
