i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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