census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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