I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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