Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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