Jerry, you need to find god
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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