That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
