maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
