how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
