God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
