try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
