oh god the rape fog is back!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
