Plan B is the new Plan A
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
