This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
