hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
