Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize