I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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