She is in my trunk
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?