just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.