If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
