He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager