He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.