i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange