Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dear god my vagina.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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