Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will be naked everywhere
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public