bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
