his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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