Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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