its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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