It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The police scanner is talking about you again....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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