WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
