community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize