That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize