You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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