Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
