I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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