if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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