I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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