we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
