Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
