Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
