did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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