He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
