Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
