U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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