My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
