Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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