I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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