Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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