we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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