Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
