Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
