I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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