IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
