I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
