She is in my trunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
