either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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