You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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