Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
