She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
