My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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