hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
