a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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