he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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