lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
