based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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