I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
